Fast write: Its strange what you don't forget...
The admiration of the beloved. once lived. once here. now gone. it can take you to a place that will and would be forever unknown. awaiting the next...what is next? whom? what else could happen to me, to somebody? To my loved or love? questions unlike ever before arise against me as if in debate whether i should say it aloud or else say it to myself. Silently unspoken yet heard only by me. how do i cope i wonder? how else could i bring about whats happened. its like an illusion that is there imagined un your unlimited imagination sphere so endless that otherwise can only be captured in that wake of unseeingly possible reality. Will i function properly? Will i easily forget the pain and humiliation. my mother always told me i had an attitude that didn't seem to care anyway. will i care this time? Will i ever feel nurturing care for the past, goners. Was my mother right? I think i care but in my own special way where how i care is to not care. Still- I love you.
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